misunderstood.

Read Friday Weekly ytd night and i saw an advertisement abt this cafe which caught my eyes. it's a cafe whereby you can spend hours eating & playing. there are abt 200 board games to play. it's advertise in a show last time but i din take down the address. wanted to bring dear there after my Chinese Os but dunno if he's interested.

Maybe i was wrong abt her being cold to me. i think she's just tired bahs. =) i think too much.. well, 1 month left to Mid-Yr exams. gotta start my revision soon. had Chinese Oral ytd. Mr Lim was the examiner. i was so tensed up that i start to stutter. aix. i din know what to say during the conversation. i bet it'll turn out very badly. =(

Doing chinese compo today. i couldn't finish it within 1 hr. i took 1 hr 30 min to write abt 2 pages(400 words/pg). aix. i wonder how i can finish writing in the exams. somemore, chinese Os is coming very soon! HELP! aix.

Alighted from bus just now. was so pai seh. i dropped my file & it loud 'bang' was heard. my file cracked. i was too tired to react also. my eyes were closing. i just walked home then. straight away slept on my bed. dear called at 3 plus. he played with the penknife and cut his hand! i was so angry despite my drowsiness. *ARGH* hung up & i continue my sleep. mummy sms to ask me what i wanna eat for dinner. i replied. then, continue my slp. it started to rain. i went to close the windows. went back to slp. mummy called. my slp was being distrupted so i woke up, blogging. now, waiting for mummy's call to order my dinner.. wanna eat BBQ Chicken Rice. hees. *yummy*

hmm. think that's all for now. just to add abit more.. I JUST LOVE MY BOY. HE ROCKS MY LIFE! SMOOCHIES FOR YOU~!

everything sux.

went for BBQ. everything went alright at first. but have a lil cramps & my knee cap having some prob again. helped out with the BBQ-ing thingy. did some serving.. serbian help me too. dear was trying to burn the charcoal. din rest at all. aix. what the fuck sia. birthday boy doing all these. bloody hell. fuck those ppl who organise this. damn you lahs. wanna organise, dunno how to set up all these. then, went to take birthday cake down. they said dun sing birthday song. but i forget. den just sing lo. hope nth will happen. aix. took photos. after that, they played water bombs. saw dear being throw by them. i pity him at first. then, it turns to becoming jealous. they were having fun. ya. with the girls. what is this? are you trying to flirt with them? why dun you throw it at ur badminton team? obviously, you're trying to have fun with the girls. you feel happy. i was there sitting, watching u all. u seem to be so happy. i was so upset inside me. i just smile. everybody thought i was fine. after playing, then u realise me sitting there. u told me without me, no point celebrate. actually it's not the fact. i shld have just went back home without you knowing. you wont know until i reach home. i walked away. sitting alone on the bench. you came asking me what happen. i wanted to go home & cry. followed me back. but i cried after u left. having cramp & gastric pain. headaches too. u were downstairs learning how to drive. what crap did u tell me then? no point celebrating when i'm not ard. u're learning how to drive?! i dunno how many times you wanna lie to me. I HAD ENOUGH! i dun wanna be like a fool anymore. i'm tired just because of ur birthday. this is what i get. huh? u wanna try me having a birthday party. throwing water bombs at the guys and ignore u? huh?

i din want things to turn out this way. i really dun wan. i wan you to enjoy urself. maybe you did enjoy ytd. aix. everything sux.

thx, dearr!

dear brought me to the foodfair ytd! hees. at Suntec Convention Centre. saw Yi Qian & Bei Shan. i have a kind of jealousy feeling when i saw them. maybe cos' last time they're close. that's why. but nvm. =) dear's with me anyway. =P after that, we go Marina Square shop shop. it's so BIG~ the place is 'high-class' but things are exp also. din buy anything. but dear bought me a PIGLET! hees. i wanted that piglet so so so much! i love you, dear! muacks. 9 plus, we wanted to head home lerhs. but dear decided to go to the Esplanade. so we went there. wanted to take photos at the roof top but there's event going on so we walked ard the Esplanade & back to the MRT station. took lots of pics with dear. hees. then, dear decided to take me to his working place to take his 'smog' (dunno how to spell). the place was so ulu lo. so dark. eerie~ we took the shuttle bus back to dear's hse there. dear took his dad's bic & rode me home. first time sitting bhind. dunno how to balance. dear nearly fell. =( sorry & thanks so much for sending me home, dear. i know he's damn tired ytd. but he still took me out. =) THANKS! I LOVE YOU!

1 wk holidays just past like that. i'm going back to sch almost everyday. =( din do any revision. aix. but manage to finish the holiday hw. gotta buck up le lo. aix. 10 wks to chi Os. 6 wks to mid-yr exams. jia you bahs!

got back results.

having PTC ytd. mr loke took so long to explain those JC, Poly & ITE stuffs. we were there chatting away until he finish. lols. anyway, got back my results. 4 B4s, 3 C5s, 1 C6. aix. L1R4: 21. gotta push my subj 2 grades up le. this kinda grade how can i go to a better course? i gotta really buck up! jia you! i noe i can. mid-yr proves everything. dear, i'll show you gd results. i will.

was having kinda "family conference" just now. choosing the courses i wan. had a handful of courses i wanted. business studies, accounting, banking & finance & tourism. now, i'll do my best to get the lowest aggregate points i can. then, when my results come out next yr jan, i'll choose the course.

dear, i'm not able to acc you often after sch reopen. sorry. i hope you can manage ur things well. nevertheless, i'll still support you. do update me with ur new poly life. i'll msg/call you to tell you how i'm doing. so dun worry abt me too. you gotta tk care oh! if you need money for ur sch fees, come to me k? dun stress up yourself. =)

frightened.

ytd, we had a phy proj presentation. we were inform only 1 day earlier. i went for CO. then, ate with dear. managed to reach home only abt 8 plus. they discussed abt having to do an experiment last min. i had no idea then. i did my summary of the presentation. that's all. i felt so left out when they discussed abt the experiment. i did try to help by correcting them. but it seems like i was invisible. i dunno issit because i was too sensitive or what. that day, it seems like no one was listening to me. during the presentation, i present the worst. having to talk from the screen, stumbled my words. the powerpoint wasn't the final piece. they din use Serbian's powerpoint which she edited. she deleted some of the slides. i din noe and she just pass it to me. i dunno what to do as i din summarise those slides which she need to say. i just read some paragraph from the screen. i was like a fool then. while teachers weren't looking, i skipped those slides. present mine. i wasn't stable then. i just rush off and pass to Anna. aix. Szehui saw the marks. 12/20 i think. after the presentation, i rushed to Cwp. it was raining. they all took the bus which is towards wdls centre. i took the opposite as i need to rush to buy my piano bk and my piano lesson. i felt that they were talking abt how lousy i present. on the way to the interchange, i felt like a failure. my future career, how can i present like this? i reached the interchange. i walked into Cwp. i felt like everyone was staring at me. i din dare to look up. on my way home, i felt that i was getting uglier suddenly. aix. i reached home. feeling so exhausted, sweaty. dear called. i felt better then. he gave me the strength to carry on with my things. i bathed and went for my piano.

today, after sch, i went to have bubble tea & waffle stick with Sharon & Szehui. skipped CO. went home & slept. on air-con. 6 plus wake up. ate at 7pm. dear called. he was worried abt his poly's fees. i told him to lend from me if he really cant find any solutions to it. we hung up then. i done my hw and called him again. had a small conflict. maybe we're just too afraid to lose one another. but dear, you really gotta give me this last trust. if not, no matter how i explain to you, you wont accept it. we both made a mistake. i'm willing to give a chance, will you give me a chance too? i can only trust you. nth more i can do to leave you by my side now. TRUST is the element to our future. i love you and so i trust you. i really do love you. it's deep inside my heart now.

my stomach dun seem to be digesting properly. i just vomitted my dinner out. aix. these few days had been like this. having eaten too much i guess. =(

glad or sad?

din blog for a long time lerhs. had been busy. studies is okay for me. abit more to brush up. =) well, ytd he waited for me after sch outside the front gate. he's botak! lols. so cute. that's my boy. my cutie boy. =P anyway, the weather was so HOT! sweating all over. kept complaining to him. =X then, we went to CWP to eat. i wasn't hungry so i din eat. always opposite de. last time, i'm always the one eating. nw, it's him. lols. after that, i went to Chameleon to buy rubber band & some clips. hmm. then, he thought of watching movie. he din bring enough money & i forget that i have it! -.- so we went to B1 to withdraw money. bought 12 packets of tissues at Shop N Save cos' i din bring & supermarkets dun sell 1 packet de. bought potato chips & 100plus in for the show. the movie started at 2.45pm but there isn't many ppl. it's a korean show. My Girl & i. not bad lahs i should say. but i'm not really touched by the scene lo. a simple show. it's better to watch the dvd.. not worth watching movie. but i like dear to watch movie with me. =P after that, he came to my hse to watch Shen Hua, i acc him norhs. kept touching his head. so nice! hees. my botak! he's so cute! his head is so round! looks so much like a little boy. =P

today's SS lesson having debate. Mr Loke walked past & saw it. he came in & sat as an audience. they continue their debate after greeting him. i can say the debate is better than last wk's. at least i got the point. nice to see ppl debating. but when the debater starts to stutter, it's difficult to listen norhs. After the debate, Mr Loke also commented that it's gd to see debates blah blah blah.

during chinese lesson, zhi ying was suppose to talk abt 'racial harmony'. she talked halfway and was too tensed up. she burst out crying. there's once during debating she also lidat. but she din cry. she gotta overcome this. if not, it's difficult for her to get into the society lerhs.

posting is out. dear got into RP! SPORTS & LEISURE MANAGEMENT! so glad! woo hoo! goody. his first choice. i was really glad he got this course and not those engineering courses. hees. at the same time, i was afraid of losing him. aix. chat with wan er just nw. she said zhi hong gonna go to the SBA to play badminton as a national player. something lidat. SBA is located at geylang. she's afraid that he might go for massage or sth and that he'll go for another girl which has the same interest as him. we both are facing the same prob. we dunno if our boys will go for another girl. but we can do nth. aix. just afraid.

while chatting with wan er, saw her pics which was taken with zhi hong on the bed hugging her. i missed my boy. miss his hug. =( hope to see him soon.

days passes so quickly. end of another wk lerhs. O-level soon to come. i'm afraid i cant make through. =( aix.